The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1

Directors: Bill Condon
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
Time Out rating:

No one turns to Stephenie Meyer’s novels for brain nourishment, but call it a known fact that Breaking Dawn is the installment in which the drama gets enjoyably cray-cray. The movie version, the best of the bunch so far, follows suit: Bella (Kristen Stewart) weds pallid Edward (Robert Pattinson) in a forested ceremony only slightly less strange than her nightmares involving a bloody altar. They scoot off to Rio for a honeymoon and – this actually happens – break their nuptial bed with some human-vamp coupling. Alas, if only they could continue nuzzling and playing games of chess: a baby bump is suddenly prominent and demon spawn could be dangerous to Bella’s health. Abort?

Rosemary’s Baby it’s not, but colour us stoked that a Twilight movie even strays into evil-fetus territory. Meanwhile, thrown-off werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner, growing into the strongest of the cast) carries the torch and keeps his pack at bay. Who knows what’s coming out of that 18-year-old’s womb? Bella is content to suck down O-negative shakes (a dependable groan from the audience) and wait for the big moment. The whole story is remarkably retrograde – looks like college is out of the question – but at least director Bill Condon (Dreamgirls) owns it, delivering the red-eyed final shot we’ve all been waiting for. That last chapter might have some teeth.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 opens nationwide on February 25